I’ve never understood exactly why women love diamonds so much. Don’t get me wrong, even though I’m a dog, I can appreciate a good sparkler designed to arouse envy, but I would so much rather get a present I can sink my teeth into. Look at these suckers. All those little bitches at the kennel would be so jealous if they saw me chewing on one of these prime pieces of plastic. Oh yeah, and the shoes are cute too.